Look back on my last 6 months...

I remember the first day that we came in Saipan on March.
It is very painful to explain concretely my mind and heart of that time, because, if I tell the truth, I had a heavy heart at that time with some reasons.

Even though I had a painful thought, I made up my mind to obey God's leading. It was learning English for 6 months with all my heart.

Was it only one reason that I have been here?

That was not true. God is big, but I was small.
He is wise, magnificent and marvelous, but I was really not wise,
I am still uninspiring, and I look like just tiny boy.

At that time, I didn't know what the best way is:
Why am I here?..What do I have to do?..How do I live?
However, God knew the best way about my way.
He wants lead me through His ways, because He loves me, glorify me; above all, He wanted me to glorify him with my faith in all of my life, Even if I live or die.

As time passed by, He led me, taught me and has achieved lots of things in my life during 6 months.

God has done his works two things on the whole.

One thing is about English, and the other is about the calling of God as a World Mobile Missionary; in other word, it means live by only faith to God.

In fact, I was too sure that I could not speak English like other English Speaking People; just like our team members.
Every one of us know that I can't pronounce excellently in English: especially, the words 'umbrella, Jesus, world,..etc.

There were a lot of words that I could not pronounce well except those, and now is the same. As a result, I gave up pronouncing greatly; but more exact expression is that I gave up the avarice.
I am just trying to learn in the Grace of God.

I am very sorry to God because I did not learn English as much as God wants.
I have concentrated my weakness, situations, people and times.
As a matter of fact, I had a fulfill opportunity and times that I was able to learn English.
I should had to focus my attention on English.

Second, it is the calling of God as a missionary.
I have been WMM for 5 years. It is not short period as the time that be trained.
It was enough time in order to stand firm in Christ as a God Follower.
During 6 months that I lived in Saipan, I had to learn from begining as a missionary.
Because, all of my foundation founded on by faith that I am able to and I have to believe, even though if is not good situation, desiring environment.
I could not trust in God who works all things for the good of us all the time.

Faith only!
Whole commitment!
Unconditional union and Serving!
The revival of kingdom of God and mission completeness!
I was a very very man of failure in the view of the mission.

Then, Was I fail last 6 months? Really?
what did God do to me? What did I do for 6 months?
Yes! I did many things in Christ!
As a result, I am good at speaking, listenning, reading and writing in English compared with begining.
Besides, I am not shame in front of foreign any more; although I am still child as English learner.

I have a special earnestness: that is having relationship with all nations people, and then let them know the gospel, believe in God.
I can not know all the plans of God for all nations and me.
Therefore, I decided to obey to God from now to next 6 months.

I will learn not only English but believe in God in every times.
Preparing as a missionary is...not my work but God's work.
It is the work that He should do.

So, I will pray for my English, relationship with God and people who I know and meet. I will also pray for the whole my life in Saipan.

I am going to focus on His will.
The missionaries of World Mobild Mission should be armed with the gospel and the prayer!

I won't allow anything what He doesn't like, from now untill the end of my life; especially after 6 months.
I want Him to please not only the period of Saipan but also as long as I live.
I trust in God who will do His work to me during next 6 months.
I will do my best in my Lord, Jesus Christ.
I love Him.